The film’s poster features a pair of come-ons: a bevy of women dressed as if for work in a Shenzen karaoke parlor, and the tagline "The First 3D Erotic Movie." That claim is false on two counts. There have been many 3-D pornographic movies (who can forget "Blonde Emmanuelle in 3-D"?). And there’s nothing erotic about "3D Sex and Zen."
Supposedly based on an ancient Chinese tale called "The Carnal Prayer Mat," as was the 1991 2-D "Sex and Zen," Christopher Sun’s "3D Sex and Zen" is the story of a feckless Ming dynasty scholar, Wei Yangsheng (Hiro Hayama); his long-suffering wife, Tie Yuxiang (Leni Lan); and the evil Prince of Ning (Tony Ho), who spends a good part of the movie torturing them.
Wei discovers that he’s a lousy lover, in a long, grimacing sequence that is the Odessa Steps montage of premature ejaculation. This drives him into the arms of the prince and the many women who inhabit the prince’s Pavilion of Ultimate Pleasure. That in turn spurs a convoluted and incomprehensible revenge plot and a lot - a truly impressive amount - of tedious though often violent, thoroughly soft-core sex.
In the same way that Chinese manufacturers solve problems by marshaling vast amounts of cheap labor, "3D Sex and Zen" gets around the demands of story and performance through the deployment of brigades of female breasts. They are bared, squeezed, licked, slapped, punched and pressed against glass in a profligate manner that says, we can do this all day, and all night too. Prosthetic penises receive even rougher treatment, being sliced or snipped off with some regularity. Sex in this film looks so nonecstatic that a better title might have been "3D Sex and Zen: Zero Child Policy."
3D SEX AND ZEN
Extreme Ecstasy
Opened on Friday in Manhattan.
Directed by Christopher Sun; written by Mark Wu, Stephen Shiu and Stephen Shiu Jr., based on ancient text "The Carnal Prayer Mat"; director of photography, Jimmy Wong; edited by Asrael Chung and Mathew Hui; music by Raymond Wong; art direction by Tony Yu; costumes by Cindy Cheung; produced by Stephen Shiu and Stephen Shiu Jr.; released by China Lion Film Distribution Inc. In Cantonese, with English subtitles. Running time: 2 hours 9 minutes. This film is not rated.
WITH: Hiro Hayama (Wei Yangsheng), Leni Lan (Tie Yuxiang), Vonnie Lui (The Elder Of Ultimate Bliss), Saori Hara (Ruizhu), Suou Yukiko (Dongmei), Tony Ho (Prince of Ning), Kirt Kishita (Quan Laoshi) and Jason Iu (Scholar Shangguan Shun).
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