Unless you have been living under a rock lately, you've seen publicity about Chaz Bono's gender transition - lots of it.
All the attention was organized to promote the premiere of "Becoming Chaz," a documentary by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato of World of Wonder productions, which debuted this month on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), as well as Chaz's new book, "Transition - The story of how I became a man," released by Dutton Books (Penguin) at the same time.
The dozen or so appearances created a frenzy in the media, Chaz's image was everywhere you looked, answering very personal questions about what is usually a very private journey. A journey that, according to the documentary, his mother was not so thrilled was being shared quite so publicly.
Ironically, it was his mother who first thrust Bono - then known as Chastity - into the very same spotlight some 40 years ago. As a bouncing, beautiful, tow-headed two-year-old, Chastity Bono was the captive, adoring prop on her parent's wildly popular 1970's variety show, The Sonny and Cher Show. Bono had no choice in the matter then and he really doesn't remember that period of his life, but it is an image burned into the memory of most everyone else over a certain age.
The journey
Little Chastity went on to survive her parent's divorce, jetset around the world with her super-star mom, become a big-sister a few times, and enroll in drama at Performing Arts high school in New York, but she stayed pretty much under the radar all those years. Whenever people thought of Chastity, they still thought of that adorable little girl on TV.
It wasn't until 1990 that the media first tried to "out" then 19-year-old Chastity as a lesbian. She wasn't ready and didn't publicly come out until 1995 -- and did so on her own terms. Shortly thereafter, she was tapped by the Gay Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) as their entertainment media director - to oversee and police the very industry she'd grown up in.
That time, Chastity chose to accept the spotlight being offered her and take all the energy and attention generated by her coming out and channel it for a greater good. The results were life changing for both GLAAD and the community. She quickly became the trusted authority in Hollywood when it came to addressing gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people appropriately on film. Arguably, her ability to mediate the two worlds so exquisitely, has not been matched since.
During those years, Chastity was everywhere, fighting for the accurate and fair representation and inclusion of the LGBT community. Fred Phelps once called her "a satanic evangelist for GLAAD." She became a very visible and very outspoken lesbian -- but there was just one problem -- something wasn't right. Shortly after her father's tragic death, she left GLAAD and slipped back under the radar.
Now, 15 years later, Chastity Sun Bono has reemerged as Chaz Salvatore Bono, and his decision to step back into the spotlight again, this time, was his decision and his alone.
Coming out publicly is one thing, but sharing very personal details of a gender transition is very different.
Chaz knew there was no way he could ever pull off a transition in private -- so he decided to use this as an opportunity to educate people how to become their true, most authentic selves. He let go of what others might feel about his process and focused on his own truth, and, knowing the media's scrutiny was inevitable, he chose to embrace them. It was probably the toughest, but easiest decision he has ever made.
And it was an incredibly brave decision.
After all, gender transition certainly was not a common or comfortable topic of conversation on daytime, primetime or even late night TV. But Chaz brought the topic and his own, very personal journey into the livingrooms of John Q. Public, all across the country; catching them at all hours of the day, with appearances ranging from Good Morning America to David Letterman, and all points in between.
Who's table is it, anyway?
As the huge media storm began to die down, Chaz recently set aside some time to talk to the San Diego Gay Lesbian News .
The documentary -- which became the first in Oprah's new "book club-like" documentary series -- takes us through a recent period in Chaz's life when after taking hormones for almost a year, he decides to move forward with "top" surgery - the removal of his breasts - and legally change his name and gender identity.
Although interviewed by dozens of professional talking heads this past month, addressing how Chaz may or not still fit into his own community was never touched upon. Where he fits is something that is not lost upon him. Because without question, the LGBT "community" needs just as much of an education about transgender issues as the general public does, so when asked, Chaz got right to the point.
"We are the B and T [of LGBT] in our household," Chaz began, referring to himself and his longtime girlfriend, Jennifer Elia. "People in our own community don't understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. I am hoping that as time goes on, the B's and T's get a bigger place at the table. As it is, we're always kept at the kiddie table.
"There is also an assumption that bisexuality is a stopping point on the way to finding your gay identity, but there are those who are attracted to a person , not a gender," he continued. "I've never experienced [bisexuality] myself, so I look at it as a higher state of being."
Bisexuals and transgender people have often experienced discrimination within the ranks of their own community, inherently because their sexual and/or gender identities are not understood by gays and lesbians. Chaz believes it is time for that to change.
"How can we expect others to accept our own sexual orientation when we don't accept the sexual orientation of others?" he asked.
Mind over matter
Chaz knew he was different very early in age, as most in the LGBT community do. When it came time to accept a label for those differences, being a lesbian seemed to fit at the time, but he will tell you he was never a card-carrying lesbian. It just didn't feel right; so he did the best he could.
Elia had dated both men 
and women over the years, but as Chaz explained, "never in the same person." That did initially pose challenges -- all of which have pretty much resolved themselves since the filming of the documentary, but viewers get to experience some of those challenges in the film.
One of the stand-out interviews in recent weeks was with David Letterman. Letterman's on-screen banter with Cher earlier this year about her feelings about Chaz's transition became part of the documentary. Chaz's own appearance on the show a few days after the film's premiere, closed the loop on many levels. And although Letterman appeared to toy with the subject -- if just a little -- he did ask a great many indepth questions and Chaz was quite happy with the interview.
"You're not going to get an Oprah kind of interview from Letterman," Chaz said. "His lack of understanding gave me a good platform to educate people."
Gays, lesbians and bisexuals generally identify with the gender they were assigned to at birth, but their sexual orientation is towards those of the same sex. It was different for Chaz.
"It really was an issue of my brain," said Chaz.
Transgender people don't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth; yet their sexual orientation can be straight or gay and it doesn't change as a result of their gender reassignment. For many, this can be very confusing.
One of the single, most important distinctions Chaz has made during the media rounds is that, for the most part, the gender that people have in their brain matches the gender they have in their physical body. Chaz's genders didn't match. In the documentary, he likened it to a cleft-palette. He has understood this gender mismatch his entire life, spending most of it trying to adapt. It wasn't until the last decade that he understood that he could do anything about it.
As a public spokesperson for GLAAD, Chaz, then Chastity, appeared for the most part, feminine. Although Chaz agreed with this assertion, he was quick to point out that everyone who makes a television appearance goes through "hair and make-up" (so he had little choice in the matter) and emphasized that he was always wearing male style clothing.
"I wanted to fit in, to feel more normal," he said. "I've looked at photos of me as I began becoming more masculine and I tried to be as comfortable as I could be in that female body."
If you google Chaz on the internet and look at photos from over the years, you will see him gradually morphing (in style and appearance) into the man he is today, long before his transition actually began.
As he has stated publicly, Chaz just wanted to be treated on the outside the same way he felt on the inside.
Many butch lesbians find themselves being inadvertently called or addressed by male pronouns, but this is something that Chaz never experienced. It wasn't because everyone knew who he was, they didn't; he asserts it was because he had large breasts. Once the breasts were removed, his public life changed considerably.
"Strangers are so much more comfortable around me, now," he said. "As a very butch woman, people weren't particularly friendly to me; now people who have no idea who I am are much nicer."
Again, we discriminate against what we don't understand. People on the street who had no idea who he was, just didn't know how to treat a very masculine-looking woman. Now he is treated like any other guy.
"It's nice for me, but it really makes me sad for the people that don't fit in," he said.
Becoming Chaz
Chaz began hormone therapy in March of 2009. In the documentary, we see him celebrating his one year "manniversary" with his close friends and family. The whole process basically throws you into puberty again, something that was discussed a great deal during recent interviews.
Side-effects include acne, enhanced sex drive, and sweating; something he experienced even moreso when he was nervous. When Chaz visited San Diego in Feb of 2010 to speak at the CESCal Conference for counselors and educators of LGBT in grades K-12, he was sweating profusely during his speech. It appeared very uncomfortable.
"Thankfully puberty slowed down at the two year mark," he explained. "I was really happy about that and it made the [recent] media appearances so much easier." His sex-drive has also leveled out, something that was in high gear during the making of the film.
What much of the media focused on was whether or not Chaz would have "bottom" surgery. In the film, he is shown attending a seminar and says, quite frankly, that he has yet to decide on the surgery because "it's just not there yet." This is a sentiment he repeated in recent interviews until the letters taking issue with his remarks began to roll in. Realizing he unintentionally pushed some people's buttons, he added disclaimers going forward.
"I had to decide for myself about how to handle bottom surgery," he said. "I really don't think about my gentials very much at all. I can't represent everyone, I'm just trying to put my story out there."
Part of that story is that he's just not ready for bottom surgery, plain and simple, and may never be. That is not the case for everyone, nor is he saying it should be.
"It's a really big step. I take it very seriously and need to know it is the right step for me and that my expectations are okay," he said.
"The truth is, most trans men don't have the surgery. It is a big expense." An expense even Chaz is not willing to take on when he's not sure it is something he, or his girlfriend, wants to have done.
Some may have cried foul, but most have their own comfort level when it comes to surgery. The important thing is, at which point do they feel they are living authentically? Chaz is there, for now. He recognizes his journey may differ from others, but when it comes down to it, the biggest difference between Chaz and other trans people is how publicly he was forced to go through his transition.
We all have the same motivation
In an effort to get input from another trans man familiar with Chaz's story, San Diego Gay Lesbian News also spoke to Ian Harvie, a popular comedian-actor who lives in Los Angeles.
"Why should he even have to add a disclaimer?" asked Harvie. "By being a public figure, he is under a lot of pressure to say things correctly, but this is his process, no one else's. Do people really not get that? Saying bottom surgery is not optimal is okay , because it is true and most in the trans community feel the same way. The surgery is a lot better for trans women.
"Besides, no one on this planet is 100% comfortable about their body," Harvie continued. "I live in Los Angeles which is the plastic surgery capitol of the world. That surgery is all about gender, too; men get pectoral implants to look more male, women get breast implants to look more female. We all have the same motivation, we just call it different things.
"I tried to be the best butch I could be, but I needed to do more," he said. "The need to feel better in my body was occupying my brain. I woke up every day wondering how I would conceal my triple D chest. It took up an enormous amount of head space and [surgery] freed that up."
Harvie had gender mismatch feelings similar to Chaz, both as a child and throughout life, and also went forward with "top" surgery, but despite their similarities, their journey (or "outcome" as Harvie calls it) has been different. Harvie uses male language to describe his body parts but he does not fully identify as male. He also shared that he's more comfortable now with his femininity than before, when he ID'd as butch, something the documentary makes very clear is different for Chaz.
Harvie congratulates Chaz on sharing his positive, powerful story, but he knows even this isn't enough to make transgender miunderstanding and discrimination a thing of the past.
"It's gonna take Chaz, a little humor and more people coming out before it's not a big deal anymore."
Harvie uses comic relief to address his queer / transgender identity on stage.
Becoming Chaz in his own words
Although media focus on the documentary has diminished, Chaz hasn't slowed down yet; he still has a few more book signings, some Pride celebrations to attend, and a few transgender conferences lined up before he and Jennifer get the chance to relax a little.
In the documentary, you learn that Chaz was working on his third book. That book, "Transition ..." was released concurrent to the documentary and although it appears to cover the same ground as the film, they are very different, according to Chaz.
Many hours of video were taken of Chaz's daily life for the months that Becoming Chaz was being made, but the end result is seen through a filmmaker's lens. The final editing of all those hours of video into one 90 minute film, was the decision of Barbato and Bailey, not Chaz.
"Transition," however, covers his whole life and is from his own personal perspective. He was responsible for the final editing decisions and gives much more detail than 90 minutes can offer.
"[The book] is not just about transitioning; it is about other struggles in my life, including death (of a girlfriend, his father). I am really proud of it. It is my blood, sweat and tears and I'm happy the way it turned out.
"It really is about learning how to be yourself - which is a universal theme. Our goal [as humans] is to find our authentic selves and be comfortable in the world."
If you've been paying attention, it appears Chaz has finally reached that goal.
More about Becoming Chaz and "Transition ... The story of how I became a man"
If you didn't catch Becoming Chaz yet, you can still find it on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) in rotation. Check your local listings and times or visit the OWN website to find it in your area. Cox San Diego has it on channel 106.
To order "Transition ..." check your local bookstore, Chaz's website , or Amazon.
About Ian Harvie
Ian Harvie, currently lives in Los Angeles, where he is a comedian, an actor and a producer. This summer he returns to his home state, where he will be producing the Maine Comedy Festival (and golf tournament) in Bethel, Maine August 5-7th.
Harvie can also be found taking his comedy on the road. Check his website for more information.
in tight tops, miniskirts and leggings trail about the streets. Vast liquor warehouses serve the poor.