~li~ Reprints
The anniversary will always be July 21.
Next month will mark four years since Jamie and Nikki Pagano were married in the First Congregational United Church of Christ in Naperville. It wasn't until Thursday, though, that the union won the state's blessing.
As their 2-month-old son Cooper snoozed between them, the two Naperville women stood face-to-face in Millennium Park's Wrigley Square and took their vows once again. The pair was among 35 same-sex couples joined in the Chicago park in a civil union ceremony, conducted the day after the new Illinois law sanctioning the relationship took effect.
"This means a lot, because it's legal," said Jamie, 32, a therapist who works full-time counseling inmates through the Salvation Army and part-time at the Centers for Family Change in Naperville. "We considered ourselves married before, but this makes it official in the eyes of the law."
Laurie Houle, Nikki's mom and a Yorkville resident, was delighted, saying she has come to view Jamie as another daughter. Still, while this week's formality was plenty joyous, the big event took place in 2007.
"The wedding was the one that counted, the religious one," Houle said. "I cried."
Officially united
The pair of ceremonies are not the only steps the women have taken to codify their commitment in the 10 years they've been together. Nikki took her partner's last name after their wedding, which was officiated by the Rev. Tim Rhodes. Their wills and other legal arrangements are up to date, naming one another as beneficiaries. Jamie already has adopted Cooper, whom Nikki carried to term after conceiving through in vitro fertilization with the help of an anonymous sperm donor. Each has medical power of attorney for the other.
Nikki, 31, a North Central College graduate who teaches seventh-grade science at Washington Junior High School, said part of the impetus behind the most recent ritual was the budgetary bite of health care. The medically aided conception process was at the couple's expense, but the cost of routine wellness can add up, too.
"It's nice to have decision-making power, should one of us ever end up in the hospital," she said. "But the biggest thing is probably surrounding our work, just making sure we're covered, if anything ever happens."
That concern appears to have been addressed. Mark Bailey, president of the Naperville Unit Education Association, circulated an email Wednesday to announce that, pending approval by the board of education, union members in District 203 who have entered civil unions will receive the same benefits as their traditionally married colleagues.
"Any benefits that are legally afforded to any of my members we certainly are encouraging be extended to members in civil unions," Bailey said this week.
Nikki said shortly after she read the message, about 20 of her coworkers sent congratulatory messages of their own, some forwarding Bailey's announcement and others offering a simple "woo-hoo!"
Family and friends
Along with Houle " whose husband Anthony, chairman of the science department at Wheaton Warrenville South High School, had to be at work " those who came to see the union included Nikki's cousin, Mateo Houle, and his girlfriend, Jennifer Oglesby, and the Paganos' friends, Diana Shull and Maggie Burke, who live in St. Charles and were taking part in the civil union ceremony as well. They have spent most of the past two decades together after meeting while they were students at Illinois State University.
Burke said it was nice that their families wouldn't oppose decisions they make for each other, but now the state won't stand in the way, either. Shull was pleased by that as well.
"The best part about today is that it's recognized by the government and the people," she said.
Some of the people lined a temporary fence set up along Michigan Avenue, on the west edge of the site, erupting in applause from time to time as they watched from a distance.
Most of those who took part in the ceremony had loved ones along to witness it. Some had children in tow, or are obviously expecting new arrivals soon. Some came in matching finery or identical boutonnieres. A few wore wedding gowns, and many were attired in purple. Some observed age-old nuptial customs, with a twist.
"These are our best people," said one gray-haired man, his partner at his side as he gestured toward a young man and woman.
Also on hand were Gov. Pat Quinn, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel and other dignitaries. Quinn, who signed the legislation granting full legal rights to those in civil unions, drew the most robust applause.
"All of us in the Land of Lincoln can celebrate," he said in comments before the ceremonies. "We believe everybody's in and nobody's left out in our state. Everybody is important. There's all kinds of families in Illinois, but we are the family of Illinois, and we understand and love one another. We understand that it is very, very important to have civil rights and civil unions. And that's why we're here today."
A new beginning
The Paganos have big dreams. Entranced by Cooper and undeterred by the miscarriage Nikki experienced 13 weeks into her first pregnancy, they plan to add to their family. They'll juggle their work schedules, as they're doing now, with Nikki back in the classroom through the end of the school year.
Houle, who has one other grandchild so far, is all for it. She is impressed by the way her daughter and her partner navigate the new territory of parenthood.
"It's great," she said. "They're like a tag team. We should all have two moms."
Nikki, who said it felt special to be "a part of history," expects that when Cooper and his peers reach her age, they'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
"I think that every five years or so, (attitudes) change dramatically," she said. "It should be nothing special. It should be just like everybody else."
She and her newly sanctioned spouse said they have every intention of reaffirming their commitment yet again, when the federal government takes the same step their home state has taken and recognizes same-sex marriage.
"Right now," Nikki said, "I have one-50th of what I need."
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