She’s gotten used to the insults, but says she’ll never be able to accept life as a man.
Kosilek, who was born male and named Robert, was convicted of murdering his wife in 1990 and sentenced to life in prison. In 1993, Kosilek legally became Michelle and now identifies as a woman.
Her quest to force prison officials to provide a sex-change operation has stretched more than a decade. If she wins her federal lawsuit, Kosilek would become the first inmate in the country to receive a taxpayer-funded sex-change operation. But the surgery is far from a sure thing.
A federal judge has been hearing evidence from an array of medical experts, corrections officials and others over the course of the last five years but has yet to issue his ruling.
Kosilek’s request has become fodder for radio talk shows and politicians who say the state should not be forced to pay for a convicted murderer’s sex-change operation, especially since many insurance companies reject such procedures as elective. A bill that would ban the use of public money for sex-change operations, hormones and other treatments is pending in the state Legislature.
Kosilek is hoping a recent decision by a federal appeals court could bolster her case.
In that ruling, the 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Boston found that Massachusetts corrections officials’ refusal to provide female hormone therapy to another inmate constitutes "deliberate indifference" to a serious medical condition and violates the inmate’s constitutional rights. The ruling said prison officials can no longer use security concerns as a reason for denying the treatments. Prison officials also have cited security risks in Kosilek’s case, saying that allowing her to have the surgery would make her a target for sexual assaults by other inmates.
Kosilek calls the DOC’s security argument a "pretext" to allow prison officials to avoid giving her what she says is medically necessary surgery. She says she suffers from gender identity disorder, which in her case leads to depression, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness.
"Everybody has the right to have their health care needs met, whether they are in prison or out on the street, and people in prison who develop bad hips or bad knees or bad hearts have surgery to repair those things," Kosilek told The Associated Press during a recent telephone interview from prison.
"The problem with (gender identity disorder) is that for some reason, somewhere along the lines, transsexuals developed in the minds of a certain portion of the public a freak status that makes it a little scary to them," she said. "People are scared of things that they don’t understand. It’s a very complex medical issue."
The Department of Correction argues that Kosilek is highly functional and does not have a serious medical need that requires surgery. They say Kosilek has done well under a treatment plan that has included female hormone treatments and psychotherapy.
Kosilek, now 62, said she has felt trapped in the wrong body since childhood.
"I know I don’t belong in this flesh. It’s a mistake and it needs to be corrected," she said. "I’m very sad much of the time. I do a whole lot of crying."
Born in Chicago, Kosilek said she remembers her mother yelling at her for dressing in her sister’s clothing.
"I told my mother I was a girl and she said, ’No, you’re not, you’re a boy and boys don’t wear their sister’s clothes or play with dollies,’" Kosilek said.
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