Sex | Sex Ed Classes To Help Mothers Have 'the Talk' With Girls

Perhaps you felt awkward or even cringed when your parents discussed sex and the changes that come with adolescence.

Now, you're a parent, unsure exactly when, or how, to broach "the" talk.

Moms and daughters can learn about "sexual development and maturity in a fun and cringe-free way" in classes made possible by a grant from the Mary Black Foundation.

Classes are led by Dr. Melisa Holmes, an obstetrician-gynecologist with a specialty in pediatric and adolescent gynecology, and pediatrician Dr. Trish Hutchison. Both are mothers with daughters of their own. In 2003, they officially established "Girlology," which offers educational resources and interactive programs on female adolescence.

Carey Rothschild of Spartanburg has two daughters ages 9 and 11.

One of her daughters was 7 years old when Jamie Lynn Spears - then 16 and known to young television viewers through her show "Zoey 101" - announced her pregnancy.

Rothschild's daughter asked if Zoey wanted to have a baby.

"‘Why would anybody do sex if they didn't want to have a baby?'" Rothschild recalled her daughter asking.

"I'm comfortable talking about puberty. I'm less comfortable talking about sex," Rothschild said.

As much as she wants her daughters to remain young, she realizes that's impossible and wants them to develop into healthy young women with positive feelings and a better understanding of themselves.

She plans to attend all four classes.

Parents, Rothschild said, struggle to understand their daughters' physical, emotional and developmental changes as the enter puberty and sexual maturity.

"That's a hard time for girls to go through, and it's also a hard time for their parents to watch them go through and to go through ourselves," she said.

Holmes said she thinks the biggest problem moms have is that they just don't know where to start the conversation.

"They don't want to start too early because they don't want to rob their child of innocence. They don't want to scare their child … They don't want to start too late because they realize their kids are going to hear it from other people," she said.

Holmes said they recommend parents begin discussing puberty when daughters are around 7 or 8. Recent research, she said, shows puberty is starting earlier in girls. She said talking about puberty before developmental changes begin can make girls excited about the transition and give them a positive outlook.

"You talk about it's a way we grow up. It's a special time. It's really cool the way our body works, and they believe you in the fourth grade," she said.

Two classes in the series are just for parents. There are classes for daughters and moms - or another influential woman in the girl's life.

"We love for dads to be involved, but we can't have them at this class because there's a lot of open discussion and the girls won't talk if there's a man in the room," Holmes explained.

Fathers have sent their daughters to classes with an aunt or big sister, she said.

"Promoting Healthy Sexuality Among Youth" is from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. May 9 in the Barrett Room of the Headquarters Library. Normal development, relationships and suggestions on how to talk to children of all ages about sex and sexuality will be covered. The program is free.

"Brains, Bodies and Behaviors" is from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. May 12 in the Barrett Room of the Headquarters Library. This class is geared toward parents of tweens and young teenagers and explores children's brain growth and body changes, and how those changes affect their behavior, risk taking and relationships, Holmes said. This class also is free.

"Stuff that Matters" is a program for moms and daughters ages 11 to 13 and focuses on sexuality, as well as "milestones and challenges ahead." It's from 3 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. May 15 in the Mary Black Foundation Conference Center. The cost is $10.

"Something New About You" is for girls 8 to 11 and is intended to start a discussion that "will ease the transition into puberty." The class is from 3 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. May 22 in the Mary Black Foundation Conference Center. The cost is $10.

Scholarships are available for both mom-daughter programs.